I had fun at acting like normal, but now I just want to cry.
I went to church, also like normal, and it was fine at first. Then Steven said he needed to talk to me...I knew what it was.
He likes her...
He likes me...
I've fallen hard for him...
It hurts so bad.
I am so freaking confused and I hate it. He said he still likes me but he thinks he likes Elisabeth too. Shes the girl he went to the banquet with. I hate this. Hate it Hate it Hate it. I don't want to fight for a guys effection and make him want me over another girl. I'm not willing to play games. Take me or leave me!
This adds so much stress to me. He felt horrible telling me because he still does care about me and no matter what we're friends. But ahhhhhhh, I wasn't going to say things just so he felt good.
I told him that if he wants to, to date her. I'm not going to stop him.
He still wants to see me on Valentine's day.
God, what do I do now? I just want to cry. I care about him so much. I would do almost anything for him.
I hate the limbo act. You either like her, or me. Not both. I hate that. At least he was honest with me and didn't play games that way. I do respect that.
Ahhh...it doesn't help that a year ago my ex was cheating on me. Can we just get rid of this time of year? Just throw it out!
We took Steven home and then as soon as he got out I burst into tears.
He said he would talk to me some more tomorrow. I guess I won't jump to conclusions until then.
Please, please, please pray for me.
~Megan~