I am feeling so much better now! I talked to Steven and it is all cool. He is going to the banquet with the girl (I told him he couldn't break it off and hurt her and his parents agreed). I understand the whole situation behind it now too. Its kind of confusing so I'm not going to go into it.
It just feels good now. I needed to just talk to him on the phone and not on the net. Net stinks for things like this.
My emotions have been revived and my tummy doesn't hurt anymore. I was also finally able to talk to my mom which helped. I think she realizes now that what I feel towards Steven is real. I truely care about him.
Its crazy. He told me he never wanted to make me cry and that he cares about me soo much. Other people tell me that, like my best friends. But its different from him. I know that he would go through anything for me. And not even as a boyfriend. Just as a friend. We aren't dating right now (coz of the age and school grade thing) but he is such an awesome Christian friend.
I am so blessed. Thank you all for the encouragement. I have this huge peace now that only comes from my Heavenly Father.
One thing that was nice through this whole thing was having my rock, my God. Last night I was so confused and I just cried out to God. I called him my Daddy. He is my Daddy. My earthly Daddy may have died, but I am not alone. I have so much love. I am looking forward to the day when I can wrap my arms around him, see his face, and worship him in all his glory!
God bless you all!
Please keep me in your prayers. Figuring out this relationship with Steven is far from over.
"I have not been called to the wisdom of this world, but to a God who is calling out to me. And even though this world may think im losing touch with reality, it would be crazy to choose this world over eternity." -Mercy Me